restless

It was the type of restlessness that permeates everything that makes you who you are. It gets into every tendon, breath, and toe until you realize that you can't do anything about it. Festers is an appropriate word - the feeling festers, nothing really helps and you are left to yourself.

Walking in circles doesn't help, workin' out doesn't help, TV definately doesn't help however it does delay the feeling nicely for a while *wink*.

I did what only you can do living in a small town - I drove. I hit the back roads and left. Somehow when I am able too hit the backroads I always find abandoned farm yards it is like I gravitate towards them. What beautiful things; how exciting.

This yard I found had two buildings that looked like houses and a tonne of busted down vehicles and such kickin' around. Oh it was wonderful. The explorer/adventure in had my adrenaline pumping - I could have spent the evening there easily.

Thankfully I scare easily and could only handle a small exploration around this yard. You see as I kid I have seen and felt and been aware of way too many things that aren't necessarily in the physical realm so walking around alone, through buildings that were very old and on the edge of falling down gave me just enough sense to not linger and distrub anything that was - you know, kickin' around.

Coming back into town I just parked down on the back road and watched the sun set. I realized that something deep in me (probably because I am from saskatchewan) is that I need to be connected to the earth - if I am not in nature I loose my mind, something in me unhinges and I am not a balanced person. My OCD kicks up and I can't control anything.

So it was nice to be in nature, out on a dirt road south of town watching the sun set, watching the shadows of clouds play over eston in the horizon......ahhh....I realy love the praries.